As of November 1st, I will be homeless.
That isn’t a dramatization. I will literally be without a home on that date. I can no longer afford to live in my apartment. I actually can’t afford to pay the utilities that go along with the apartment.
I failed to plan!
I realized about 6 weeks ago that this was going to happen while looking over my finances. I’m in grad school and my university just switched over to the semester system. This means that my tuition went up, quite a bit. My student loan amounts when down, quite a bit as well. This means that I am trying to survive with about $3000 less right now.
I wasn’t prepared for this. I, incorrectly thought my student loans were going to cover my major expenses and then I’d be able to work on a part-time basis to pay for everything else.
I started putting out applications for jobs a few weeks ago. My phone didn’t ring, not once.
I failed to save.
A week ago, the transmission in my car started to slip while I was driving on the highway. This is NOT good. It would appear that my car is on it’s deathbed. I don’t know how long it’s going to last but it’s not going to be long. I am also, not prepared to replace the vehicle.
Knowing this, I started putting in applications to all the businesses that I could walk to. That’s not a lot of options when you live in a rural area without a bus line. But I’ve been applying. My phone has rang, once. It was to a fast food restaurant that is about a 15 minute drive away. Even though I wouldn’t be able to walk there should my car die, I went to the interview. I haven’t heard back (I plan to call him today to follow-up.)
I have an orientation meeting set up for Oct. 4th to get me set up for substitute teaching. I can’t afford to pay the $75 I’ll need to get my substitute certificate ($25) or my fingerprints/background check done ($50). BUT I’m hoping to borrow that from my mom so that I can keep going with this. Of course, should my car die, I can only walk to one school so that limits me. For now, I’m not thinking about that.
Even if I get substitute teaching going, I won’t have enough money put aside to pay rent by November 1st.
I failed to be prepared.
I can’t afford the rent in my apartment and I’m going to have to move to a cheaper place. That’s only if I can get a job. I have no one in the area who can let me crash on their couch. I have no family, no friends, no one to lean on so that I can make this work.
I’m freaking out. REALLY freaking out.
I could take out more student loans, if I had decent credit to do so. But I don’t. I’ll be borrowing $1,000 from my university to cover rent and a couple of bills in October. But that’s all that I can borrow.
Of course should my car break down, I won’t be able to get to school anyways and I’ll be dropping out mid semester.
I have failed my kids.
I’m going to have to give my ex the kids full time while I am homeless. I’ve failed them more than anything. He’s not a great father. He doesn’t treat them well. He yells at them, is verbally abusive (calling them dummies and fat even), he isn’t involved in the betterment of them and his home does not feel like home to my children.
This apartment that we live in is the only place my oldest has ever felt like he was at home in. He told me this just a couple of weeks ago. And now I’m going to uproot him and give up our apartment. I hate that I’ve failed him with this and I’m about to cause chaos in his life.
If my phone doesn’t start ringing I’m going to fail at life.
As you can tell, I’m feeling extremely low right now. I’m not sure what I’m going to do. I do have a small plan in place but it’s not perfect.
1. I’m applying for benefits through the state. This won’t cover all expenses or my rent but it will help with some of them.
2. I’m applying for a job at every business within walking distance. There aren’t a lot of options in this area. I live in a small town in a rural part of the state, not far from the city but not on a bus line. My options here are very limited.
3. Due to my options being so limited, I’m also applying for work-at-home jobs. I’m going to contact everyone I have written for in the past and see if they need writing done. I’m also going to look into doing customer service from home. I was planning on turning off my internet as it’s an expense I could do without since there is a library nearby but if these options work out then I would need internet (and a landline if the c/s jobs worked out).
4. Start looking for cheaper housing. My lease is up on Oct. 31st. I will be moving out then regardless of what happens. It’s just a matter of where will I be going. I’m going to look into housing assistance to see what is available for low income housing in this area.
5.Selling everything that will fetch a price. I have a box of items that I’ve been meaning to sell on Craigslist or eBay for awhile but haven’t done so. I’m going to get that going as well as taking some items that I have to a place that buys general household items and resells them. I have collected Wilton Armetale pieces (they are pewter serving dishes) and I’ll be selling them on eBay. I’m also going to sell my tv. It’s a small (like 19″) flat screen tv but if I can get $25 for it then it’s a bit more to put into the bank.
6. Try to remain calm. This isn’t happening so far. I’m tense. I’m having panic attacks. I can’t sleep. I’m eating more and more junk food because I don’t have the energy to plan decent meals. I’m freaking out and holding it all in has been extremely stressful.
I am sure I’m going to get flamed by people. There are always people who feel good by pointing out all the ways others have failed or are lacking. I KNOW where I’ve failed. I AM beating myself up. I loathe what I’ve done with my life. I haven’t made one right decision since I walked away from my marriage (that was a right decision) and left a full time, GOOD job.
I do not need others to tell me how much I’ve failed and how I should have planned. I KNOW what I should have done. I didn’t do it! I’m freaking out enough on my own, I don’t need others to remind me of how badly I’m doing.
I’m only sharing this because I think others need to know how easily it is to get into a trap like this.
I’m sharing because it helps me. By writing it out, I’m dealing with the issues that are building up inside and I’m hoping I hold myself accountable because admitting defeat is really, REALLY difficult.
I’m also sharing because I know that there are people out there who are great thinkers. Maybe there are people who can give me some ideas on other options I may have. Maybe someone reading this post will need a writer (and pay HUGE amounts of money for my articles. A girl can dream, right?). Maybe someone out there knows someone in Sunbury, OH and know of a job that I could apply for.
Maybe, by writing this, things can change and I’ll come out of this with a roof over my head still and a job to pay the bills.
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Can you email me? I know of some work at home jobs that are hiring? But I do not want to post them here and get flooded with questions. I promise that the jobs are legit.
alicia zirjacks(Quote)
I will definitely email you. Thank you so much!
Jessica The DebtPrincess(Quote)
I used to work customer service from home–it can be good work. I know someone who still does. Contact Alicia, but I’m also going to ask my friend for some places to look. She makes decent $$ doing it. It’s simple customer service calls, same as if you’re in a call center.
Heather Tenney recently posted..The Five Minute Principle
Heather Tenney(Quote)
I have a lot of experience with call centers. It’s a job I would be great at. I would love to do this. Please let me know what your friend says. Thanks so much Heather.
Jessica The DebtPrincess(Quote)
Here is her answer. She says this company is opening up full-time jobs on Monday.
Heather Schrader Tenney, I saw a post about a friend needed a WAH job? This one will be hiring Monday:
https://www.odesk.com/jobs/~013709e3218a07e7ba
She will of course need an account at Odesk.
Job description: We are an information services company currently seeking candidates for a research and data entry position. Qualified candidates will have full-time availability, a keen ability to work within a given set of guidelines and excellent online research skills.
Job tasks will include the following:
1. Mastering a set of proprietary data entry software tools
2. Reading/learning editorial and business rules to ensure high quality data entry
3. Capturing information from a variety of publicly available sources including news articles and websites
To qualify for the position, applicants must:
1. Commit to working 30-40 hours per week (with some flexibility)
2. Have experience with online researching
Upon interview, candidates will be asked to:
1. Complete an intake form
2. Complete a paid quiz, which highlights online research aptitude, with an acceptable score
3. Move on to our Research Boot Camp, which includes thorough training
4. Meet or exceed quality and efficiency standards during Research Boot Camp
Heather recently posted..The Five Minute Principle
Heather(Quote)
Thank you. I just set up an account with oDesk and applied for it. Hopefully it will lead to something. Thanks again.
Jessica The DebtPrincess(Quote)
Twitter: kawaiinicole
Hi. I’m in a similar situation. Recently unemployed and applying for many freelance jobs. I saw this position on Odesk, as well, and wondered if it was legit, seeing they request you take a paid quiz.
Good luck to you on your search!
Nicole(Quote)
She just added that it is paid training too.
Heather(Quote)
I hope things start to turn around for you. I’ll keep you and your family in my prayers.
Elizabeth(Quote)
Thanks Elizabeth.
Jessica The DebtPrincess(Quote)
Twitter: MommaBranam
I just went on a tour od our local food bank and found out they are a one stop shop in getting you applied for all types of aid and will answer all your questions. Check out the food bank near you. One of the biggest points the food bank rep told us was that people wait too long to get help. You can do it. Don’t feel like you’ve failed. You just need to rework your plan. Maybe that will involve holding off grad school for a bit or working 2 jobs. You can get through this.
Lisa @ A Little Slice of Life recently posted..Fight Hunger
Lisa @ A Little Slice of Life(Quote)
I’m trying to get help but I’m not finding it very easy. I have a couple of numbers of places to contact. I’m going to see if I can find more information.
I’m not against leaving school although the student loans are helping (or were) make ends meet. But I’ll stop being in school in order to work more.
Thanks for the reply.
Jessica The DebtPrincess(Quote)
I am sending you positive thoughts and so much hope that something happens immediately for you. I can’t be much more help than that since I’m in Canada, but know that I’m thinking about you.
My only suggestion is tutoring, it’s easy to get started with it and no overhead at least up here. If I hear of anything that could work for you, I will of course send it along.
Super big hugs!!!!
Amy(Quote)
YES! I could do tutoring. I’ll place an ad up on Craigslist and at the library. I’ll also notify the school system! I could do that A LOT and it’s something I could do even if my car breaks down because I can walk to the library or they can come to my apartment.
Thanks for the reply and suggestion.
Jessica The DebtPrincess(Quote)
I am sorry you have found yourself here. You are right–there is no sense in beating yourself up or in others beating you up. Looking at past mistakes will help you learn and to be more capable in the future to avoid this, but at this point, you are in survival mode.
I have some work that needs to be done on my website, but it is low-paying (optimizing old posts for SEO, syndication coding know-how, etc). If you are interested, email me. If not, I totally understand that you need to find higher-paying jobs.
Amanda L Grossman recently posted..Clark Griswold Financial Lessons Learned over the Years
Amanda L Grossman(Quote)
I’ll send you an email Amanda. Thanks.
Jessica The DebtPrincess(Quote)
Twitter: slofia
So sorry to read about this predicament. I saw that you are registered for Bloggy Conference 2012 in Cincinnati, are you still planning on going? If it would bring in some income for you, I wouldn’t mind purchasing your ticket from you depending on your price. Thought this might help a little bit. Let me know.
Sofia(Quote)
Sofia, I was only going on a volunteer ticket so that was how I got it. I can’t make it down there due to childcare issues (and my car as well) so I’m guessing they passed that ticket on to someone else who could volunteer for them.
Jessica The DebtPrincess(Quote)
Twitter: 4thfrog
I think the “trying to remain calm” is the toughest thing on your list. I’m anxious just reading about your situation. Will keep you in prayer — I know that’s not your thing, but it’s mine and I’m happy to do it for you
A friend of mine is doing customer service for Barnes & Noble from home. Maybe that would be something you could do.
Another suggestion might be to look into senior companion work in your community. Non-medical stuff — make lunch, do laundry, visit with an older adult…
4thFrog(Quote)
I’ve been incapable of remaining calm today. I’m just a ball of nerves and nears. I started crying in front of the gyno today because she asked if I had someone to take me to and from a procedure I need to have done and I said I don’t have anyone.
I’ll try to find info on the Barnes & Noble job, my guess is they hire through a third party and I’d need to find that company to get with.
Thanks for the prayers Amy. They aren’t my thing but I won’t complain that you care enough to pray. thank you!
Jessica The DebtPrincess(Quote)
Failure is a great place to start. Ask Michael Jordan. One of my teachers once told me,” Learn to lose, and you will learn how to win.” -Federico
Darren(Quote)
Sending positive vibes your way! I know this is a scary time, but try to keep your chin up as well. Your kids will feed off your energy – positive or negative – and it’s crucial you don’t let them know how tough things are for you. At their age, they CAN know too much.
Elizabeth @ Broke Professionals(Quote)
I hope this doesn’t come across as flaming or anything because it’s certainly not intended that way. I am a single mom to 2 boys as well (I got a whopping 500/mth in child support) and i’m a 33yr old with ADD. I do not have a college degree.
When my ex decided to kidnap my kids, drain the joint account, and ransack my house while I was being served papers at work on a friday night I’ll admit – there were some tears.
during the next 18m or so when he was dragging me to court over and over trying to run me out of money, I blew through 30K while living paycheck to paycheck on 42K a year. He didn’t pay childsupport at the time AT ALL, and I had no credit and no savings.
My car blew up less than two weeks before my water main burst and cost me over 1K to fix.
The main difference is I didn’t sit back and say “woe is me, i’ve failed. I’m a terrible mother, etc”
I would have panhandled on the streets if thats what was required. I would have sold anything and everything of value if thats what I needed to do. I had nowhere to fall back to, and i’ve always been the person others rely upon.
If you need to quit school and work fulltime than thats what you need to do. Your A #1 priority is to take care of the kids.
I’ve always been bothered by the fact I see people on government assistance but they can afford gucci purses and 60″ flat screen TVs. I rather see college the same way, I apologize for saying so.
I spent the last 14 years of my life working 80-120hr weeks, several jobs at a time, reading and self teaching. I didn’t attend college and now I make close to 6 figures and things have improved dramatically in my life.
I guess i’ve always seen schooling as a luxury and see it as a somewhat selfish thing I suppose. So that explains my attitude torwards that I guess.
regardless, defeatist attitudes solve nothing. There are services for single mom housing sharing. There are programs to help. Seems to me that there are a lot of things you could have been doing while going to school to earn money (such as the above suggestions, work from home, tutoring, etc) and not find yourself in this situation now.
You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and stand up and DO something about it. Only you can control your success or failures in life.
Shan(Quote)
http://www.coabode.org/
Shan(Quote)
I hope the job prospects posted help you out! It’s a terrible situation to be in, and I hope you can make it out soon. Best of luck, Jessica!
Christa recently posted..An Introduction to Investment Properties
Christa(Quote)
I have no ideas or job offers, but remember that you are a strong person and you will get through this. I believe in you. I have faith in you. I care about you.
Mel recently posted..OUBad burger?
Mel(Quote)
Jessica, I cant pretend to understand what kind of difficult this situation is. I was inspired by a similar story of a mother trying to give her family a brighter future through education to research grants for single moms…http://www.paymystudentloans.com/education-grants-for-single-mothers/
Not sure if there is anything there that could help you?
Best of luck!
Jon(Quote)